Indian adventure over

First venture to India over. In the end I was not called on to resurrect the England bowling attack, though I wonder of Mr Dilshan would have coped with the prodigious  away swing. Mr Rashid now knows what it feels like to travel the world for a day in the office!

It seems my enjoyment of the cricket world cup is totally over, as the channels I had on my TV now have disappeared completely from the list, much to the bemusement of the leasing office. Fortunately they disappeared before the demise of England.

Didn't see much of Mumbai. Airport to hotel, to office (a few times) and then to Airport. Noticeable how much easier it was in India where English is spoken easily. I was fortunate to be travelling with an Indian colleague when we arrived. We took a nostalgic taxi from the airport to the hotel. Nostalgic in that the car was a Suzuki Wagon R, a pale blue and grey, not purple. In the boot (that huge cavernous space) was the drivers belongings, so our carry on bags had to be strapped on the roof, and i had to help the driver do it as he couldn't reach to put the bags up there. So we set off. After 100 yards we had to stop as there was a horrible grating sound at the back. The driver got out and walked round kicking the tyres, and checking the car. He opened the back door and told my colleague to sit in the front. No more grating sound. My colleague is about 5ft 9in, and 10st!

The most noticeable thing about the hotel (Marriott) was the security to get into the compound, and then each day to get in through the front door. Sniffer dogs, metal detector scanners and pat down search!

At airport on departure I was taken to the terminal door, where there was a huge queue, as there was at every terminal door. So set off to the back queue (still outside the terminal) and came across a gentleman with a board with the name of the airline I was flying on it. So he took me to the front of the queue, past the army guard who was checking details, passports, and to a young lady inside the terminal who checked my passport, and then showed me to the check-in desk. Can you see that happening in the UK or US?

The wonders of modern pharmaceuticals managed to keep the "Delhi belly" under control for the journey home. Still took a few days to fully recover.

Another holiday coming up here, Qing Ming festival, or Tomb sweeping festival. Many Chinese do exactly that, tending to the graves of their ancestors, lighting candles, adding flowers etc. To get the two days (Monday and Tuesday) we have to work Saturday!

Saw an unusual site today on the way to the local shop - a group of kids playing football on a patch of grass. Girls and boys of mixed sizes and I guess ages. I have seen many basketball hoops no one playing them, but not seen sight of football goals, and spaces for kids. They even had jumpers for goal posts. I resisted the temptation to go and join in, as normal would have gotten shown up.

Am looking at attending a football match in the next few weeks - Shanghai Shenhua - who play in the Chinese Premier League and are in the Asian Champions League at the moment. My colleagues are very sceptical given recent scandals over corruption in the game. They did offer to find out the result before hand to save me the expense and effort. They do not understand the madness that afflicts a football fan. Anyway the best seats are 200RMB. The time of kick off seems strange at 4.30 in the afternoon, on a work day. You would think they would wait for the fans to get there, but if you already know the result...

Had a consulting firm in this week, and as usual they brought more people with them than we can accommodate in a meeting room. However what was notable the three native Chinese consultants all spoke with classical (Oxbridge) accents. The expats all had dialects that were challenging to follow! The Australian was perhaps the easiest, the Canadian next though the french twang caught me out a few times. The three Irish lads were the hardest so we switched to Zhongwen. At lunch conversation shifted rapidly to cricket, rugby and football. Unfortunately we haven't played Ireland at football for a while. You can guess which three teams these guys follow, Man Utd, Liverpool and Celtic! At least the Liverpool and Celtic supporters acknowledged the existence of Scunthorpe, only because of the star player we have supplied these two clubs.

Looking forward to my trip home at the end of April, if only to see the relegation of the mighty Iron.

En route India

Well after two bowling disasters, messrs Miller, Flower Strauss and co finally saw the light and have asked me to join them to avert further embarrassment and an early exit from the world cup.Not sure who is being left out but needs must. 10 overs of slow fast in/ away swing (depending which way you stand) should be enough to see England through.

Not a bad dream for a 53 year old en route from shanghai to mumbai for a week.

Laobans birthday last week, which was well received in the office. Went to dinner on Saturday with him and the restuarnt baked him a cake, took his picture and presented a copy in a card which all the staff had signed. Nice touch.

Gala Dinner

Found out today the Chinese Government spent $565bn on internal security in 2010. This includes police, and traffic control as well as internet security. For the Chinese Government conference they have put 739000 officials on the street to control traffic, marshall crowds etc. in Beijing this week. That number is 3x the population of the city of Hull. Still there are 4000 government officials in attendance at the conference.

Why is this relevant – only that the office Annual Gala dinner was held this week. Apparently most businesses get all the employees together at the end of the Chinese year, and have a celebratory dinner. So many of our distant colleagues travelled into Shanghai for the evening. There were a number of performance awards with prizes first and then the dinner. 7pm to midnight. Normal Chinese banquet – big round tables with lazy susan in the middle, and ten to 12 courses.

The excitement for the vent had been building for a couple of weeks, not around the free food and wine, or the go home gift, nor the performance awards, but for the entertainment. If you go to a sportsman’s dinner in the UK you will be entertained by some celebrity, and then a raucous comedian would round off the evening. Some company events in the west see variety singers, or copy bands. I had asked around about what happened at these events and been told they vary, but could include a lot of drinking (and the ill effects), karaoke, dancing and other performances. The latter was what the office had been getting excited about. People had been rehearsing for weeks their acts.

The evening entertainment consisted of the 23 different performances from different combinations of staff and included songs, dancing, comedy, drama and TV shows. We had a mixed group male and female dancing to lady gaga, a duet doing a Chinese equivalent to Romeo and Juliet, a drag version of a TV dating game, Spanish flamenco dancing, Chinese version of Steptoe and son, and much more in between. Some of which I understood, others I didn’t.

The remarkable thing was that people who are quiet in the office, and wouldn’t say boo to a goose, were transformed on stage, in front of 250 of their colleagues. So 23 acts and I would estimate that close on 180 of the 250 performed at some stage of the evening.

Which brings me to the censorship. Obviously the department I am part of were expected to take part. Well our Chinese assistant expected us to take part. As we are all expats of the retiring shy type, we were not so keen to participate. However we agreed and she organised that we would go on to “I’m too sexy for my shirt” by Right said Fred, dressed as a collection of Village people, with three people dressed as a cow, tiger and bear, oh and carrying a huge stuffed Garfield. This was Ok, when we saw the pop video that we were supposed to go on stage to. Very very distracting. You will have to download it to see. However at the last minute HR felt it was a bit over the top for the Chinese audience, and so they substituted the cartoon version, that failed to play. So they projected us on the big screen instead. Fortunately it was only two and half minutes and we didn’t have to sing. Exit stage left. The feedback was very positive which goes to show I am a long way from understanding the Chinese people. Next the video of the evening to be shown on the reception monitor.

The following day the company arranged a tour for the out of town employees. I tagged along for the sightseeing. Sunny day so when we ascended the pearl tower and the financial centre the views were pretty impressive. The Financial centre observation deck is 100 floors up, with a semi-transparent walk way!. The pearl tower – not so tall has an outside observation walkway, with a glass floor. The group I was with didn’t like the fact I jumped up and down a couple of time on the glass. From the financial centre I could see a football game being played. It was a poor game as the 20 players all seemed to be congregated around the ball as it moved round the pitch.

Enough for now as the second half of the cricket is about to start – Canada need 199 to beat Kenya.